This was our first Tuesday class at the JSSOB and I had a blast. We did pirouettes and jumps and I was lost half the time but didn't care because we were doing real dancey type stuff. White Swan was less impressed with class. She felt it was too advanced and too crowded. I didn't get what her deal was until after our Sunday class.
On Sunday, we hit the beginner-beginner class again at the other school we frequent. While we were hanging out before class, White Swan was talking about all the pirouettes we did in Tuesday's class and said she couldn't do a single pirouette. As a demonstration, she set up a pirouette and then executed it perfectly in her flip flops. I raised my eyebrow as she claimed that was the first one she had ever done well. Then she did another perfect pirouette in time with my eye roll.
So we took the class and I was bored. It just not as fun when I can remember the whole combination and don't have to follow other people to keep up. And then it hit me; she's the White Swan. Just like in the movie, she gets that hungry look in her eyes and says, "I just want to be perfect." While she is striving for perfection, I just want to flail around in a leotard making an ass of myself.
So what to do? Well, we could go to the mall and get Frappuccinos and mani-pedis.
- Black Swan
Hmm.. I´m afraid (or not) that I identify with White Swan. I love all that painstaking work - it will lead you to so much better things! With ballet you often do not see obvious results until you have done hundreds or thousands of reps. But hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do also love the challenge of a class that is above my own level, especially if it´s "dancey", as you described. Probably a combination of both is most fun and productive.
Don´t be too hard on yourself. From "flailing arms" beautiful port de bras is born! And if you joke now about "making an ass out of yourself", it really just means that your mind is racing to adjust itself to a new way of moving.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Samuel Beckett:
Dance first. Think later. It´s the natural order.
Thanks for the comment, Johanna! I tend to get freaked out when I'm in unfamiliar territory, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Pair that with rampant pessimism and you've got the perfect storm of self doubt. But today I took a cue from black swan and just let go. I probably did about 5% of the steps right, but I tried! And it was fun. And I do love a challenge - I'm even going to go to class next week when Black Swan is out of town *gasp*!
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